Tips from Monica

Dear Pablo,

I'm afraid that Phoebe has led little Possum astray on a couple of her points. As a number 2 cat, Phoebe is not aware of the big responsibilities which come with being the number 1 household cat. In a multiple cat home, one cat must take on this important role and in our case, that is me. As an only cat, I can only assume that Possum will need to assume this role as well. At any rate, I cannot passively practice being "polite and demure" in order to gain special privileges. I have to make sure that I continue to assert my authority around here. People have such short memories and need to be reminded constantly to see to the daily chores involved in serving the cats in their home. Here are some ways to maintain an atmosphere of proper respect for cat authority:
1. sit on your people whenever you feel like it. Don't be discouraged if they push you away, just wait a few minutes and go at it again. With repetition, the people generally get the point and start petting you.
2. stare at your people and tell them what they need to do. Since people do not understand meow, you need to speak slowly and loudly and repeatedly until they get the message.
3. train your people to do an action on command. In my house, this involves turning on the water faucet. My cue is jumping into the bathtub and staring at them. If that is not enough prompting, I remind them of the proper action by licking at the faucet. Ongoing practice in obedience is very helpful in reminding them who is in charge.

In a multiple cat household, it is also necessary to maintain the number one position with your colleagues. Other cats are much more responsive to the subtle means of maintaining order than people are. From time to time, however, it is just necessary to interrupt attention that is being bestowed on the other cat and redirect it towards you. The goal here is not to be mean, just to maintain order. All cats deserve the people's attention. They just need to remember that you have the first rights to all things.

PS. I do not stay in the bedroom at night because it is boring. Not because I'm not allowed...